


Just what you need

by fardareismai



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Secret Diary of a Call Girl (TV), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crossover Pairings, F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 15:50:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18897796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fardareismai/pseuds/fardareismai
Summary: From the Tumblr prompt "Sherlock and Rose, fake dating AU"Not a part of my This Rose is Extra 'verse





	Just what you need

**Author's Note:**

> Another Tumblr prompt for AO3. If I were to rewrite TRiE, I might go with something along these lines...

“Aahhh.”

Irene glanced up from her book.  That was a ringtone she hadn’t heard in a very long time.  It was attached to a phone that only one person on the entire planet had the number to: the man who had given it to her on the day he’d saved her life.

It hadn’t made a sound since that day, and yet there it was.  The moan had been faked, but it sounded real, if Irene said it herself.

She pushed herself from her comfortable chair and padded barefoot across the wide expanse of her personal office-cum-parlour in the huge villa that she had purchased south of Hong Kong.

_Require a woman for the night._

_-SH_

Irene raised a single, perfectly-plucked eyebrow at the abrupt nature of the message.

_Unless you happen to currently be in Southern Asia, I’m afraid that my schedule does not allow me to accompany you on your errand, my dear._

_-Irene_

She waited for his response, and he was quick to reply.

_Do not want text record of this conversation.  May I call?_

_-SH_

_My schedule is always free for you, my dear._

_-Irene_

Her mobile sounded its moaning ring again.  Irene allowed it to go off three times, just to be sure that he knew that she was not at his beck, then answered it.

“I need a woman for an undercover mission and thought you might be able to recommend someone,” he said in lieu of greeting.

“Hello to you too, Sherlock.  How are things in London?”

“Rather too busy for me to waste time in idle chatter.  Are you able to help me or not?”

Irene couldn’t help but smile.  The young man was obnoxious, arrogant, and less clever than he believed, but was oddly endearing for it.

It didn’t hurt that he was handsome in an unconventional sort of way.  He might have been an interesting conquest, though generally if she weren’t accepting payment, she preferred experienced women.

“Tell me what you need from this girl, and I’ll tell you if I can help.”

“She must be discreet.  She should be clever if that is possible, and she should be attractive.  If she cannot be all of those things, she needn’t have a brain if she can keep her mouth shut.”

Irene already knew precisely who to direct him toward, but couldn’t help playing with him.  His prioritization of necessities had surprised her.

“She must be pretty, but needn’t be smart?  What about charming?  Should she be charming?  Or good in bed?”

“Charming is acceptable so long as it comes with discretion.  As for the other, I will not dignify that with a response.”

“Which is, in and of itself, a response.”

Sherlock remained silent and cold on the other end of the line, and Irene laughed.

“So what kind of undercover mission requires beauty, brains, charm, and closed-lips, hmmm?  I’ve heard that Mycroft’s birthday shindig is tonight.  Could that be it?”

She could hear the shock from across two continents and awarded herself several points for being right.

“How did you know?”

“Sherlock, my dear, I know many things.  Including your date for the night.  She’s lovely, very clever, and won’t be intimidated by you in the slightest.”

“I-”

“You, on the other hand, will be very kind to her or I will know why.”

“One of your darlings, is she?” Sherlock’s voice was sarcastic.

“Yes, though not the way you’re thinking.  She deserves better than you or me or this job, but she seems to like it and she is very good.  You will be good to her, Sherlock.”

“Do you love her?” There was no censure in his voice now, just question.

“That is none of your business.  I will contact her for you.”

She hung up before Sherlock could say another word.

Irene pulled out a different mobile phone and scrolled through the short list of contacts before she landed on one near the end of the list.  For a moment she looked at the photograph that accompanied it.  The girl was a brunette naturally, but dyed her hair blonde.  Irene had never known Sherlock to like blondes, but she didn’t much care what he preferred.  She had a wide smile under eyes that sparkled gold even in a photograph.

Irene sighed and pressed the call button.

“Rose, darling?  I have a job for you that I think you’ll like.”


End file.
